My Friend, Autumn

My friend Autumn passed away a few weeks ago. But it was today that I realized what a special and God orchestrated phone call we shared just a few weeks before that.

Autumn was kind hearted. She was always looking for ways to serve people and to show Jesus to others. She really loved our music and she encouraged us often. I would dare to say Autumn was a true “On The Mend Fan”. She would share our music with friends or people she felt needed the message. Her comments are scattered all over our social media posts. I have SO many private messages from her encouraging us not to quit writing and recording music. It would seem that she would send them right at the time I needed to hear it the most. I could say many wonderful things about Autumn.

But this is the moment I need to share.

Autumn called me just a few weeks before she passed away. I was at a friend’s house visiting, but it was so unusual for her to call at that time of the day, so I knew something must be wrong or very important. She proceeded to tell me that she was in the intensive care unit, and had been there for some time, unbeknownst to us and her! She was sharing what she had been told about her condition with me, through some obvious confusion and a little shock.

Then she asked me “can I ask you a favor, it’s really important to me?” That’s a scary open ended question, but considering the situation, I answered “sure”.

“Would you and Adam please sing for me?”

Honestly, I was kind of taken back. I’ve never been asked to sing on the spot via speakerphone before. So, as awkward as this was going to possibly be, I wanted to do anything to help. Adam and I went outside away from our present company, found a spot on our friend’s patio, and had a seat.

Autumn, always thinking of others, asked if she could put us on speakerphone. She said she thought that maybe there would be others around who would need to hear our song. Again, I was a little reluctant. Now we had an audience, but again, I wanted to honor her request. “Yes, of course”.

I asked her if maybe there was a hymn she would want to hear? Or maybe a worship song that was special to her? I was thinking something maybe calm, encouraging and classic. She quickly said no. She wanted us to sing one of our songs, and she specifically asked for “Leaving Gethsemane”.

Adam and I pulled our starting note out of thin air, adjusted that note at least once, and did our best to sing this song for her. When we finished, there was silence for several seconds. We then heard through tears “I was able to lift my hand and praise Jesus, thank you”.

A few weeks later I received the text I was expecting, telling me that Autumn had passed from this life. I was immediately thankful that we had been able to have that moment together on the phone.

Today, weeks after her passing, was the first time that I really thought through what happened that day, and I realized the gravity of that moment we spent with Autumn.

Leaving Gethsemane is a song written about Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane, praying these words “If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Adam wrote this song when life was taking us down a path we didn’t want or plan for, but we knew we had to surrender to God’s will.

Autumn was a nurse, and she fully understood her condition and her prognosis. She also fully understood this song, and had messaged me specifically about it in the past.

Today, it hit me. I should have seen it from the beginning, but I didn’t.

In that hospital, to the tune of her friend’s lyrics, facing impossible odds, Autumn was asking for healing, but surrendering the outcome to her Savior.

Only Jesus can orchestrate such a beautiful moment. Only Jesus can give us the peace and power to pray these words, “Your will be done”.

Friends, Autumn is with Jesus and has no more suffering or pain. But I would ask you to please say a pray of comfort for her husband Kevin. They were the best of friends.

Love to you all,

Jen